Back To School!

I've always been the type to look forward to the first day of school.  Its always been like a high for me to start a new school year!!!  Today I only have one class and it isn't until later this afternoon.  So I can't wait to meet my professors  and new classmates!  Yea the course work is probably going to be difficult but from what I've heard its completely manageable!  I just can't wait to get to campus!!  Being on campus feels great!  This day also marks me going back to work! Which given the deflated status of my bank accounts at the moment is extremely exciting!  :)  Ok, well I am off to get ready for class insanely early!! :)

A Lesson in Manners

Now I'm not claiming to be the know all be all of manners.  Yes I have my vices but I do consider my self a generally considerate person.  For instance, when asked to be someplace at a certain time, I make it a point to arrive on time.  Whenever we had family Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, parties of any sort, my family was ALWAYS late.  I remember one year my mom was so upset about us always being late, she told my dad that the get together started 2 hours earlier than it actually did so we would get there on time.  It was a move like this that helped me realize that I HATE being late.  And as someone who prides herself on being a good hostess and a gracious guest, I find it UNBELIEVABLY rude to show up late or just not show up and not call.  
Now, translate this into everyday life and not just parties and get togethers. I understand showing up a tad bit late for class every now and then.  I understand that some people have class ALL the way ACROSS campus and may always walk in a few minutes late.  This I have no problem with.  However, I do have a LARGE problem with the fact that in my 50 minute chemistry class, there happens to be this one girl who walks in AT LEAST 20-30 minutes late EVERY class.  This isn't just once in a while, its EVERY day we have class.  Its not even like she can sneak in the back, the only way to get into class is through the front of the room through a very squeeky door!  I cannot believe how inconsiderate that is! UGH! And its not like she just rolled out of bed, the girl has her hair and makeup all nicely done when she walks in.  I just want to scream at her  "WAKE UP AN HOUR EARLIER!"  or "ITS A 9 O'CLOCK CHEM CLASS, NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE!!" 

And The Count Down Begins

What may you ask am I counting towards?  The day I move out of this condemnable hell-hole I live in.  102 days left.  At the new apartment I will no longer have to worry about: having a mowed lawn, living in the ghetto, biking to campus as my ONLY means of transportation, bugs crawling through the pipes, dishes piling up in the sink, having to put shoes on in order to do my laundry, having to lock up my laundry machines, hearing every single outside noise in my house clear as day, an oven that makes terrible noises, coming home and having a book case in my front yard(not my book case), getting my mailbox ripped out of the ground, coming home to find my landlord's latest 'project' on our property.  I CANNOT wait to have a dishwasher, washer and dryer in side, CLEAN carpets and walls, kitchen tiles that match, a kitchen that is not puke green, a door that actually closes, water that STAYS hot, etc.  Don't get me wrong, I'm super grateful for the experience to know what its like to live like this.  Its taught me valuable lessons.  Such as: no dishwasher = deal breaker, if it doesn't look clean when you move in, aint no way it's ever gonna be clean, if you're unhappy in your house, you will eat a ton of food to distract yourself and you will resent your house for all your problems!  Only 102 more days! THANK THE GOOD LORD ABOVE

Small Pleasures That Inspire Simple Joy!

I read this article today and was surprised at how true these things are.  It got me thinking about what "small pleasures" I enjoy.  (definitely not #70 but for sure #83 can't happen enough!)
My small pleasures that bring a simple joy!
1.  Sunny warm days where the wind tosses your hair perfectly!
2.  An unexpected cal from a friend just to say I love you or I miss you
3.  A pet's warmth against your body
4.  A dog's kiss when you're feeling low
5.  getting out of class early/ having class cancelled
6.  daisies
7. daffodils
8.  sunflowers
9. roses
10. flowers of any kind really

Spring Break Reflection - not a happy ending

So the week before Spring Break, on Tuesday, I got a call from my mom.  I was at the park with Amy and her roommate's dog Granger.  Granger is a puppy and Amy and I regularly have Tuesday dates where we gossip and play with the puppy.  I answered the phone no big deal and my mom said she had some news.  I had no clue what was coming.  She proceeded to tell me that Martie, my greyhound, was doing really badly Monday night and when she was standing, she couldn't lay down and when she was laying down, she couldn't get up.  Then my mother told me that early that morning they took Martie to the vet and she and my Dad had to make the heart wrenching decision to have Martie 'put down'.  I knew she hadn't been doing well and I knew that this day was coming but I wasn't ready for it.  When I was in 8th grade, I volunteered at a greyhound adoption society.  I worked at the Petsmart with the society and we tried to get the dogs adopted to loving families.  It was the second week that I was working with them that I saw the most beautiful dog.  She was a smaller greyhound, obviously a runt of the litter, and I walked her around and stayed with her.  When I looked at her, I winked.  She winked back.  She was perfect.  She had a champagne colored coat and she had the most adorable overbite.  We adopted her and took her home.  She and Ginger had some altercations at first but grew to love each other.  She was my dog, I picked her out, I loved her longest.  I miss her so incredibly much.  Even though I didn't see her much when I was in college, knowing that she was waiting for me at home gave me comfort.  This was not how I wanted to preface my spring break.  
Spring break finally rolls around and Mom and I go to Dallas with Mindy and Annie.  We had a really great time and it was such a nice break from the news of Martie.  On our way home, Dad called Mom about the vet visit the Ginger had earlier Monday morning.  We learned that Ginger had cancer of the kidneys, bladder, liver and lungs etc.  I was devastated.  We didn't know how long she was going to have and I didn't want to face losing my other dog so quickly to Martie's passing.  Friday of spring break, I woke up past noon and Emma was getting ready to leave.  Ginger had been panting all morning apparently.  I pet her some and she was laying in front of the couch.  Mom came home and she and Emma and Dad were packing up her car so Emma could leave.  I was just sitting with Ginger.  Emma left.  While Mom and Dad and Emma were outside, Ginger was acting odd, she arched her back and got her head caught under the couch but i fixed it and she was just leaning on me.  I didn't know what to do so I screamed out for Mom and Dad.  No one came.  I was terrified, all I could do was blubber, "its ok, you're gonna be ok" to Ginger.  When Mom and Dad returned an eternity later, Dad called the vet and they said we could bring her in and stay with her.  She couldn't get up and Dad had to carry her in a blanket.  We had just gotten her into the vet's office and on the table when I saw her chest wasn't moving.  It was awful.  All I could do was scream to the vets, "She's not breathing, help! She's not breathing!"  I was hysterical and so were my parents.  We were losing our baby.  Our first puppy, we'd had her since she was a little little puppy.  We'd had her for at least 11 years but I still wanted more from her.  Which I suppose was unfair of me.  I've had dogs since I was in first grade and don't know how to not have them in my life.  This has been the hardest two weeks I've had to endure in the longest time....

Martie

Gingersnap

Happily Never After

Sometimes I wonder who I'm doing all this for.  I go to school for my parents, I study for my teachers,  I go to class to give other people my notes, I dress up for other people, I bake cakes for other people, I do everything for other people.  Its gotten to the point where I only rationalize things by who they benefit the most.  Like, if I continue this just because all my friends want me too, its fine.  I only just realized that it completely isn't fair to the other people involved.  But here's the catch, I don't know if it was entirely just for my friends.  I didn't really realize it until today and what I had done had all sunk in.  It hit me so hard and so fast, all I wanted was a bunch of popcorn and chocolate.  
Its not fair that things happen on tv and in the movies how everyone finds their "perfect someone" instantly.  Its always obvious who they end up with: Scarlett and Rhett, Danny and Sandy, Peter Pan and Wendy, Ross and Rachel, etc. It would be super fantastic if in life, the first guy you meet you fall madly in love, you get married and live happily ever after.  Unfortunately, those are all fiction.  
For someone who is so traditional and concerned with raising a family, I don't have the best role-models: Julia Child and Martha Stewart.  Martha Stewart isn't married, unless you count being married to your work because her marriage failed.  And Julia Child didn't marry till she was like 40 and she was a virgin until she met her husband.  I always thought I wanted to be like these women but I don't want to be divorced and I don't want to be a virgin at 40 and childless!!!
I don't know what exactly came over me but I think a lot has to do with the fact that all of my friends have "the one" Kristen's got Howie, Jessica has Yan, Troy doesn't really have to worry about finding someone because he could get whoever he wanted, and a large majority of people I know have a significant other and  are in a SERIOUS  relationship.  
I really just want things to be like the 50s, relationships weren't all about sex they were about getting to know each other in hopes that they could get married.  I don't want this let's just do this to kill time because thats not who I am.  I always assumed that once I got to college, everything would be different from high school.  The thing is though, nothing is really different at all.  The drama is still abundant and I just hate it.  I hate feeling like every move i make is scrutinized by everyone.  

Apparently

So apparently I missed the memo that everyone else got today: It's everyone piss off Hannah day.  So i go to class this morning, someone cuts me off at the stop sign, and then i get to the garage and can't find a good parking spot.  Then I go to chem class and am utterly bored because apparently, education majors are dumb blondes and have to ask the most ridiculous questions.  Then I go to the library and all the good seats are taken and i have to use the outlet that looks like you'll get electrocuted if you plug into it but hey, i don't! (its sad that this is the high point of my day) Then I head off to music and my day is looking up, the elevator wasn't a long wait and i didn't have to stop at every floor! WHOO HOO!!!! But then when I get to music class, I'm venting to my friend Amy and this girl comes and sits next to me.  No big deal, i like people.  But then things start to get ugly.  She brought a can of diet coke with her to class.  My general rule of thumb is don't bring open containers to class, chances are, they'll just make a mess.  So I guess she thought it would be a good idea to put it on the little fold out writing desk thingy.  Then she takes the desk and tips it to get something from her bag, well wouldn't you know, that can slid right off!!! Who would have thought?!  Not the dummy sitting next to me apparently.  So where did the can go? you might ask, oh you guessed it! Right in my lap.  It COMPLETELY soaked through my lap and the seat and my coat.  So now, I have to sit through music class, sticky and damp.  She didn't offer to clean it up or get me paper towels or anything.  Real nice, huh?  Well as class progresses, this intelligent person next to me, keeps rocking the little writing table thingy right into my leg.  She did it at least 20 times.  What?! It isn't bad enough you made getting through the rest of my classes unbearable, you just HAD to give me a bruise too?!  Gee thanks! You're really just TOO kind.  I mean really, you must be SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO freaking proud of yourself!!!

Its a wonderful day in the neighborhood!!.... NOT

Dear neighbor.
I do not know who you are but I would like to politely request that you turn the freaking bass down.  I do not know if you listen to your music in the house, garage or your car.  It is obnoxious and I should not be able to hear your gangsta rap laying in my bed.  This being said, I would also like to state your other offenses towards me and my house:
1) Do NOT ever park or allow a guest to park directly in front of or in my driveway.  This is not polite nor appropriate.
2) Do NOT pull into my drive way to turn around, miss the gravel and dig up half my yard trying to get out
3) Do not park directly behind my driveway.  If you honestly think I won't back into you, you're crazy.
4) Do NOT pull my mailbox out of the yard in a drunken fit.
5) Finally, Do NOT invite all your obnoxious red-neck friends in their big trucks to come play pool OUTSIDE.  This is not ok for the following reasons: a) Trucks take up the whole street b) who the HECK plays pool outside?


Thanks and Gig'em
Your friendly neighbor

Welcome to Mayberry Folks!

Today I spent my day watching the rest of Weeds season 5.  If you haven't gotten hooked on it, then you really ought to!  Its FANTASTIC, a little mature (read a LOT mature) but TOTALLY worth it!!  After that was over, I made lunch for me and my sister.  Nothing special or extravagant, just ravioli from the freezer and sauce from a can.  I spent all day working on my homework for classes and was much relieved to get a bunch of it out of the way and finished!!!  My day was going uneventful but totally wonderful until I got a text message.

This text message was from my sub-co (sub committee) leader.  She had decided to call a meeting for tonight.  Now these 'meetings', I use this term extremely loosely, normally consist of two or three of the five or six members showing up and our 'leader' talking/gossiping/wasting our time for a good hour or two.  These meetings generally start at 8 which is fine now that I have a car.  But when I had to ride my bike up in the cold/wet/wind/rain/dark, etc. it was frustrating.  I would have to bike home, exhausted and pissed off (because I have yet to leave one of those meetings in a good mood).  Not a recipe for perfection.  So the first text I got said the meeting was at 8.  I said, "I'll be there"  The thing is, I have to say, I'm quitting this organization.  This week infact.  I just don't enjoy the meetings or any of the things affiliated with it, with the exception of the "big sib" program, that I LOVE!! :)  So then when at 7, I got a text saying hey, meeting at 8:30, I was like, I am not gonna be able to make it.  So then she wanted an explanation.  So I made up some bull about ride difficulty and that I had a bunch of work to get done for tomorrow.  I wanted to get more of my work done so that technically wasn't a lie.  So anyway, she got pissed and was like, "these meetings are mandatory, you need to be there"  So i did what anyone else would do, I said I'd be there.  

I left my house and turned onto the main street.  I drove a little ways and then saw police lights lighting up my car.  I pulled over and got out my license.  I've never been pulled over before in my life.  I was terrified.  The worst thing was, I had no idea what I was being pulled over for, I knew I wasn't speeding, so I was clueless.  The cop went into the whole, I'm officer so and so and I need to see your license and insurance.  I gave him the stuff.  then I asked, why was I pulled over?  He replied with "are you in a hurry ma'am?" Me: "Well, I'm on my way to a meeting but I'm not like late or anything."  

Officer: "well Miss, you failed to turn into the proper lane when turning right back there.  See you made a wide right turn"

Me: "I did?  Oh I'm so sorry, I guess I just didn't realize.  I mean I knew that both lanes were clear and safe for me to turn into"

Officer:" Well, I'm gonna go run these(points to license and insurance)"

Me: ok..... (sniffle sniffle, don't cry don't cry)

Officer:  "What I'm going to do is give you a warning.  Sign here and do you have any questions?"

Me: "ummmm Ya, actually, what does getting a warning mean. Like do I have to do anything? (ya now I know it was a stupid question but cut me some slack, I've never been pulled over before)

Officer: "Well Miss. What it means is you need to be a better, safer driver.  You have to pay attention to what you're doing."

Me: (in my head) Well no kidding!  Thanks for being an jerk  out loud: "ok, Thanks officer"

So Then I proceeded to my meeting where only 3 members were there and I was absolutely NO help whatsoever to the process and the 'leader' had nothing for us to do.  It was pointless for me to waste my time there and if I had just stayed at home and not gone to that stupid meeting, I wouldn't have gotten pulled over.  To me, this sounds like God's way of telling me that I am making the right decision when it comes to getting out of this club.  

Back into the Swing of Things....

I've spent the first week of classes adjusting and trying to get back into a groove.  Last semester, the groove just appeared, it came to me instantly!!  But then again, a lot of the groove depended on my friends and going out with them and all those social type things.  As this semester starts, I have been more focused on getting better MUCH better grades than last semester.  Its not that my grades were bad.....but they weren't great either.  I don't want to spend all of my time studying or doing homework but I really do need to be more dedicated.  Which I am not only saying, I have already put it into action!!!  So far, I have started on the math homework that isn't due until Friday and not only started my 30+ chemistry assignments but completed them.  ALL of them!!!! EVEN the optional ones!!!!!!  Yay for change!! :)


My classes so far don't seem excessively difficult.  However, two of them WILL kick my patootey.  One because the course material is going to be difficult and one because my professor is an jerk.  His mission is to make at least one girl cry in his class each semester.  Oh ya, he's a winner.....not.  and my math class... I've never had any desire whatsoever to learn calculus why would I gain one now?  Oh, well, at least that professor seems like she wants us to succeed in her class and actually do well!!  Its the professors that want you to fail their class and want to make it their mission to fail the class that I have a problem with.


My favorite class this semester will be my music class.  My professor has an uncanny likeness to Mr. Shoester from Glee.  But not necessarily in the looks department but in the mannerism and attitude department their identical!!!!  He is such a FANTASTIC professor and really knows how to get the class to participate in the music we're learning about.  Plus he plays in an orchestra!  Gotta love a musician!!! :)

Bus rides through campus

This week, I've been riding the busses to get to and from my car.  I have been using this time to catch up on my people watching... Here are the people I have observed:


Mr. Cell phone Cowboy:
You are a college student, you are NOT a CEO or VP or other acronym at a high powered corporate office.  Because of that, DON'T wear your cell phone on your belt.  This look is cheapened still by the fact that it is coupled with jeans and a Texas sized belt buckle and a ball cap.  You obviously are not important enough for nicer clothes so put the darn thing in your pocket.  Its not like you wouldn't feel it on vibrate or hear it.  You're wearing denim and the last time I checked, denim wasn't sound proof!!


Miss/Mr. I'm too cool to care
You show up to the bus stop in PAJAMAS, now I get it if you were running late but honestly? when I'm on the bus early, I don't understand why you couldn't wait for the next bus in 10 min and put some pants on!!!Or for a simpler solution, sleep in clothes that are acceptable daywear!!! Or, just set your clock ahead or set your alarm for faster. These are NOT difficult conclusions to come to!!


Obnoxious, I'm so much better than you and I'm only taking the bus so the humidity doesn't ruin my hair girl
This girl, wearing a tank top, distressed jeans, Huge sunglasses and a chip on her shoulder, sat directly across from me and for the entire bus ride, continued putting her head between her knees to 'fluff' her hair.  Needless to say, I ended up with that girl's hair on my book countless times.  


While all these people get on and off the bus, I can not even begin to describe the other obnoxious people that ride the bus.  There are the casual conversation starters, you know them the "oh I'll probably never see you after this but lets have an in depth conversation about your life goals!"  and the leg shaker/pencil tapper and the I'M ON A BUS SO I HAVE TO SHOUT TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH THE PERSON SITTING NEXT TO ME, and the "Like NO WAY!! UH! AH! Oh!  OMG! He DIDN'T.  Nuh uh!!!! OH EM GEE!!!!" also known as cell phone talker.  and then there is the quite, non-obnoxious book reader, she occasionally laughs at a quip in her novel or ties her hair up so it stops falling in her face.  This girl moves her feet so people can get through the aisle, she puts her bag on the floor or her lap to open up a seat. I wonder which one I am?

“To be alone is to be different, to be different is to be alone.” ~ Susan Gordon

Sometimes, you can be in a huge group of people, at lunch in a room full of friends and familiar faces, at a meeting these bouts of loneliness that you find who you are and how you react and deal with things on your own.  These times can be great revelations But sometimes, you can be swimming in a sea of people and you feel more alone and out of place than you do when you're the only one standing in the room.  You can have all the friends in the world surrounding you and all that matters is that you can't confide in them because of one reason or another.  Maybe its because you know something you shouldn't, or you're jealous of their successes or you have you own circle of drama unfolding in front of everyone's eyes.


These times when you're all alone and having to make difficult decisions can be killer because in any other situation, you'd run to your best friend and ask their opinion.  Now you might be faced with a situation where you can't run to your best friends because you don't want to hurt them or put them in the middle of anything and maybe you can't tell any of your other friends because your decision will effect them too and you don't want to bias their opinion and then of course the people you can go to aren't responsive or have their own things to take care of and giving you an unbiased opinion isn't on their todo list for the day and then of course, maybe you just don't know how to explain the situation to anyone.  All of these COMPLETELY hypothetical situations can be frustrating and leave you feeling completely alone and unsure of what to do.

Dentist Barbie

Today was an interesting day to say the least!!!  I got to spend a good part of the day with Troy which was super fun!! We went to the mall and hung out and with the exception of the glow in the dark tapers he got for his ears, Troy got some pretty cool stuff!!!  After a morning of shopping and driving around with Troy, I begrudgingly went to the dentist's office.


OF COURSE, I get a new dental hygienist.  Not only is she new, and young, she looks IDENTICAL to a Barbie doll.  Now, I  could be wrong because I didn't really ever get into collecting Barbies, but I don't think there was ever a "dental hygienist Barbie." Which to me says that even Barbie was too intelligent to be a dental hygienist!!! This girl was super tall, super skinny and had a stick straight pony tail just begging you to pull out a Barbie hair brush and brush it!  After she introduced herself to me and commented on how she liked my purse, she started to get the x-ray machine out.  Now, I know the last time I was there, they did all sorts of things that my insurance didn't cover; so this time, I was on the lookout.  I know that my insurance company only does x-rays once a year so I knew I wasn't due for them yet.  When I was like, "umm I had those done last time," she went to the powers that be and came back and said, "Oh! I must have read the chart wrong!!"  This didn't really inspire much confidence in Miss Barbie.  When she began the cleaning, she described EVERY LITTLE detail.  "Now I'm putting the suction tube in your mouth, this will suck out all the water!"  In my head I was thinking, "No duh blondie! I'm not four"  This ensued for about a half hour, then the real dentist came over.  One thing about dentists that I HATE would be their uncanny ability to come up with the most insipid questions to ask you.  It would be one thing if they were yes/no questions but they aren't, not even one word answers.  They require explanation and thought out responses.  Not something that is easily articulated with a set of hands in your mouth!!!!  The only joy of going to the dentist office is knowing that you don't have to go back for 6 more months!!!


HAPPY:CRAPPY
Happy:  Hanging out with Troy this morning :)
Crappy: Going to the dentist's office :(

Regrets? ...... I think NOT!!

You can play it over and over again in your mind but no matter how many times you replay it you can't change it.  For instance, maybe you think you should have spoken up, you should have said something.  But no matter how many times you figure out the perfect thing to say, that moment, that instant is gone.  Its not figuring out what you should have said that you should waste your time on, its figuring out what to do so that you don't let moments like that pass you by. Because if you keep letting them pass you by, all you'll end up with is regrets, well what if, maybe I should have, why didn't I.... etc.  Its reasons like these that I don't want to have a gazillion regrets this year.  I resolve to regret less and live more!!!  One thing I hate most that guys say is "you intimidated me so I didn't want to ask you out."  Its like GROW A PAIR already!!!!  Its just an excuse and I don't want to let that be one of mine.  Therefore, I plan to live a little more this year.  Not spend as much time at home watching Friends, and spending more time meeting new people and having more fun!!!!


HAPPY:CRAPPY
Happy: Went out to lunch with my parents
Crappy:  spent most of the day exhausted

Sew What?!

Its officially the New Year and I still haven't figured out what my resolutions are/should be...... I suppose one should be that I resolve to obey my resolutions and stick to them.  Last year I resolved to loose 20 pounds and after gaining more I gave up on it.  Then by a miracle (or biking 20 miles a week) I lost the weight putting me right where I was last year.  Other than that the usual, Go to the rec more, eat healthier, live life more, get organized....blah blah blah!  I know I won't go to the rec, I know I only like certain foods, I can't change my fundamental beliefs and have no intention of doing so and honestly for the first time in a really long time, I think I'm in a really good place in life.  This could all be said because of the euphoria of the New Year.  I'll probably be back to the WHY?! Oh WHY is my life this way?!? in a week or so.

I started the year out at home with my family, which try as I might to spend it with friends, I really enjoy that time with my family.  Per the theme of the year, no traditions were followed other than drinking Martinelli's finest at midnight.  No noise makers. No confetti.  No Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve (at least until the ball dropped).  I'm starting to realize that the more traditions you have, the less they mean to you.  So what if your Grandmother ALWAYS served things this way or that, or ALWAYS cooked something this way or that.  It doesn't matter and I'm slowly starting to realize, its not about what generations before you did, its about what you want to do with it.  If you don't wanna do everything or anything the same as your family the answer is simple: DON'T!

The week was kicked off with a quilting retreat to Rockport, TX!  There are 5 of us in this wonderful retreat house.  The gossip is abundant and conversation plentiful.  My only teeny tiny complaint is: THE MUSIC! We've been listening to one of the lady's iPods and I swear to you it contains awful 1950s music (not the sweet cute stuff) Beatles (no complaints), and some other random things.  Its all fine and dandy except we've been listening the same few songs OVER and OVER and OVER again.  Its all starting to sound the same, and its all starting to make me want to scream!!!  I guess that would be the one downfall of the 50s, the music.

HAPPY:CRAPPY
Happy:  Got to work on a quilt I got for Christmas last year and hadn't looked at since AND I got to drive Daddy's BRAND NEW CAR!!! (but shhhhhhhh he doesn't know that )
Crappy:  the incessant noise coming from the ihome (I long for my GLEE soundtrack!!!!!!!)