Tuesday, December 15, 2009

La Cucaracha

BIGGEST. COCKROACH. EVER.
Last night, before going to bed, I went to get my iHome from the bathroom. Whilst transporting said iHome from my bathroom to my bedroom, I felt something on my arm. Having come from the bathroom, I figured it was like a hair in a weird spot and then; then it moved. So I look down and what is on my arm? A FREAKING COCKROACH. And not a small one. This fella was HUGE! As the title of my blog implies, I'm not exactly masculine. And in such, don't handle insects of any sorts well to say the least. Well I FREAK out because a nasty looking creature is scurrying ALL OVER MY ARM. So the monster eventually falls off of my flailing arm and drops to the floor into a pile of my clothes. I run to my hallway and try desperately to keep my composure and not scream my head off. (For fear of a worser fate if I wake my sister from her slumber since she has an 8 am final). I manage to do my freaking out without screaming and try to locate the damn thing. Which was a lost cause. So I decide "I'm sleeping in the living room. It can live in my room." Then I decide, "I can't let a rodent dictate my life." so I shake out ALL of my blankets and form a cocoon if you will. I then tuck my pj pants into my socks. I snuggle into my cocoon for a lovely evening of thoughts of Kafka's The Metamorphosis, Wall-e, and a giant cockroach crawling all over my body. Needless to say, I did not sleep more than 5 minutes last night. Which is why when I opened my eyes at 6:30 in the morning and saw my sister, half naked staring at me (well it seemed like she was staring at me) with a demonic look in her eyes, I kinda freaked out. Again. Then she says "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you and I don't wanna freak you out, but there is a cockroach in your room." To which I replied, "Oh ya, I know, it was on my arm last night." She gave me a horrified look as I explained it happened before I went to sleep and it didn't crawl on me while I was in bed. She then located the cockroach, found a BASEBALL BAT and then proceeded to squash the darn thing till there was nothing left. This folks, is the reason I live with her. I may be the domestically inclined one and cook and clean, but she is the one that will kill the big spiders, moths, and cockroaches. And when Daddy isn't here to do it, you better pick a roommate that can!

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