Sunday, May 22, 2011

Get it Together. Please and Thanks

A quick true and false quiz:
The sun rises in the East.
The sun sets in the West.
I'm addicted all things Real Housewives.
Boys can be platonic friends with girls.
If you answered True to all of the above, you'd be me, about a week ago.
I'm one of those girls who makes friends with guys, one of my best friends, until recently, was a guy.  I don't think there is any problem with it.  I think that there are occasionally times where boundaries get crossed and friendships get blurred but in most cases I think that women can be trusted to respect if a guy has a girlfriend or not.  One of my best friends would text me all the time and we were in constant communication.  His girlfriends NEVER had a problem with it.  They all accepted the fact that we were just friends and more like brother and sister than anything else.  Now I don't even talk to him because he's too preoccupied with work and school and his girlfriend.  I don't know, and I don't want to presume, if this is because his new girlfriend has a problem with him having friends who are women or if he's just too busy for his old friends.
I'd just accepted this as a case specific incident.  Little did I know that this is a common occurrence. I recently started talking to an ex of mine, completely platonic and no hidden agenda, and we were getting to be really great friends.  I truly love those friendships where you can be totally honest and open with one another and I really thought that's where this was headed.  So one night I got in a fight with my roommate and needed someone to talk to so I called him.  We ended up meeting up and talking for about 3 or 4 hours!  I laughed and cried and laughed some more.  It was great..... Until I got home...  About a half hour after I left I got a message about how "we need to be careful because we don't want anything to be misconstrued." Since when is two friends talking something to be worried about?  And again this happens.  I went to San Antonio and wanted to hang out with a really good friend of mine.  Well he couldn't hang out for long because he needed to call his girlfriend and smooth things over for hanging out with me.
LADIES.  Are you listening???? Because you really need to listen up here.  TRUST YOUR MAN
If he wants to hang out with someone he was friends with before you started dating, you should trust him to respect you.  And MEN.  Are you listening??? Respect your women.  If you don't trust yourself hanging out with an ex tell the ex upfront so she doesn't get all confused.  I'm telling you, I would rather be told "I don't trust myself hanging out with you" or "My girlfriend would rather us not hangout because she doesn't know you"  HOW HARD IS THAT? Not hard.
So PLEASEE GET YOURSELVES TOGETHER out there.  It's very simple.  Thank you!

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